NEWS FROM SCOTLAND
Reports by Joe Murphy
We have had quite a busy week as we attended our granddaughter Niamh’s ‘brownie group’ entertainment one evening and she was pretty good and it was a nice warm atmosphere and everyone was very pleasant and a good time was had by all. We also went to see her younger brother Liam at the Adam Smith theatre in Kirkcaldy as he was in the Fife Festival of Music and his school class were playing the Ukulele and singing. They were fairly good and so pleased of their efforts and there were a lot of delighted parents and grandparents in the audience. We also had the misfortune of our brother in law being taken into the hospice as he has become poorly this past week and we have been visiting so I’m afraid it is a short article this week as I have run out of time.
SNFC Good Birds
Received an email from Sandy Robb of Buckburn in Aberdeen as follows, ‘Hi Joe, now that you have completed the SNFC award winners I thought you might be interested in the track record of my chequer hen ‘Roslin Lady’. She has 3 section positions with the SNFC and all being well could go for her Silver Award this season although nothing is definite at this time in the year. As a young bird she was raced naturally to 100 miles then stopped. As a yearling she was flown out to 450 miles often being the first or second bird to the loft and gained several minor club positions along the way and she flew the SNFC Bovingdon race a distance of 386 miles. She had a similar programme of work as a 2 year old arriving in decent time from 450 miles. In 2012 she was sent to Newbury with the SNFC but finished up being liberated from Cheltenham a distance of 366 miles where she won 3rd North Section G and 266th open from an entry of 3780 birds (only four North birds being timed on the night). In 2013 she won 3rd section G from the Gold Cup race from Alencon a distance of 614 miles with 1355 birds competing and she just missed the official open position by a few minutes. Last season 2014 she was again sent back to Alencon and exceeded all expectation in a very difficult race by being 1st section G and 21st open from an entry of 1427 birds this was a hard race and only 6 birds were recorded in the North section on the second day. I have enclosed a photograph of Roslin Lady for your column. Kindest regards, yours Sandy.’
The 2nd pigeon belongs to J & L Alexander of Monifieth near Dundee. Their blue chequer cock SU08DF 1539 has won 5 times from SNFC races. He won 15th section C 127th open Bovingdon in 2010 flying 342 miles. The following year he won 9th section C 156th open Marlborough a distance of 352 miles, and then in 2013 he won twice being 17th section C 162nd open Newbury 358 miles and then 73rd section C 227th open Maidstone 390 miles. Then in 2014 he was sent to Buckingham just missing the open result by a few minutes, however he did win a prize from Ypres were he won 4th section C 16th open from a distance of 454 miles. So he just needs one more win from an inland national race to win a Bronze Award and we wish the partnership all the best this year in achieving this prize.
Joe’s Jokes
The lawyer says to the wealthy art collector tycoon: I have some good news and I have some bad news. The tycoon replies: I’ve had an awful day, let’s hear the good news first. The lawyer says: Your wife invested £5,000 in two pictures today that she figures are worth a minimum of £2 million. The tycoon replies enthusiastically: Well done. Very good news indeed! You have just made my day; what’s the bad news? The lawyer answers: The pictures are of you having sex with your secretary.
And another one...
A blonde goes to her local pet store in search of an 'exotic' pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box FULL of frogs. The sign says: 'SEX FROGS' Only £20 each! Comes with complete instructions: The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her. She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, ’I’ll TAKE one!' As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, ’Just follow the instructions!' The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home. As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions and reads them very carefully. She does EXACTLY what is specified:
1. Take a shower. 2. Splash on some nice perfume. 3. Slip into a very sexy nightie. 4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you, and allow the frog to do what he has been trained to do. She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and to her surprise . . . NOTHING happens! The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, 'If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store.' So, she calls the pet store. The man says, 'I'll be right over.' Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The blonde welcomes him in and says, 'See, I've done everything according to the instructions. The damn frog just SITS there!' The man, looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares directly into its eyes and STERNLY says: 'LISTEN TO ME!! I'm only going to show you how to do this ONE ... MORE.... TIME!!!'
Please continue to keep the news flowing to Joe Murphy Mystical Rose Cottage 2 Flutorum Avenue Thornton by Kirkcaldy KY1 4BD or phone 01592 770331 or Email to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
---